NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE (UNOFFICIAL) — A warning has been issued for one living room in the greater suburban area, where a 27-year-old woman is reported to be “two comments away” from a full transformation into her mother.
Residents are advised to stop talking about her driving, her choices, and whether she has “thought this through.” The window for safe conversation is closing.
How It Started
According to her brother, who called it in, the first sign was a sigh. “Not a normal sigh. The sigh. The one Mom does before she says ‘I’m not going to say anything.’ And then says everything.”
The second sign was the shirt. She had, it turns out, been wearing the warning the entire time.
Don’t Make Me Angry or I’ll Start Acting Like My Mother — T-shirt — From $35 · ★ 4.9 (8 reviews)
The warning label. 4.9 stars from people who have, in fact, started acting like their mother. Bought most often as a gift, then again for themselves.
Get it →The Father Weighs In
Reached in the garage, where he has been since the incident began, the father declined to take sides. “I’ve seen this happen before. I married it.” He then requested his own shirt, which we found suspicious and also reasonable.
Don’t Make Me Angry or I’ll Start Acting Like My Father — T-shirt — From $35 · ★ 5.0 (1 reviews)
The other half of the household. One of our best-selling tees this summer, mostly to people who ‘didn’t mean to slam that.’
Get it →“Love the fit. Love the quality. I just love it. Definitely recommend!!”
— Allison B., verified buyer
Conditions Worsen
By 7:40 PM the woman had reportedly asked her brother if he was “going to eat that,” referred to his girlfriend as “that girl,” and turned the thermostat down without asking anyone. Her brother described the room as “fourteen different people, and every one of them is mad at me.”
I’m Like 14 People Packed in One Body, Spin the Wheel, Bitch — Sweatshirt — From $50
Her brother’s description, as a sweatshirt. Our #3 best seller since July. The red one goes fastest.
Get it →The Brother’s Statement
Asked whether he had done anything to provoke the situation, the brother said no. Asked again, he said “I mean.” He then produced a shirt his sister had given him for his birthday, which he says he wears “as a reminder.”
Proud Sister of My Dumbass Brother — Red T-shirt — From $35 · ★ 4.0 (1 reviews)
The birthday gift. Our #2 best-selling tee, and the reason he was told to stop talking in the first place.
Get it →The boring facts: printed to order in the US, ships in 2–5 business days, sizes S to 5XL, insanely soft, 30-day quality guarantee. Free US shipping over $70.
Advisory
The warning remains in effect until further notice, or until somebody apologizes, whichever comes first. Historically, it is the brother. If you know someone in the affected area, the shirts ship in 2 to 5 days, which is faster than the apology.
See the full Family Chaos collection →
Have you started acting like your mother? Tag @unhingedone. She already knows.
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